Saturday, December 17, 2011


The older I get, the more reliant I am on Jesus as my Helper. In my twenties, I was glad He was there in a crisis, but I assumed I had most everything else under control. The older I get, the more I realize that I'm so utterly dependent on Him that the thought of Him not being there causes me to desperately panic.

Luckily, He tells us He will never leave us or forsake us. But I often wonder how people get by without Him because I know for certain that I cannot. I've tried. It wasn't pretty.

I am learning that not only am I reliant upon Him in times of crisis, but I also need Him as much in times of prosperity and blessing and peace. Because I'm such a weak and feeble-minded human, I cannot balance either crisis or blessing with any amount of grace without Him.

In fact, I've learned more times than I care to share that I can hardly open my mouth without Him. When I'm not relying on His grace, His care, His Word, His love, my words are like clanging symbols, and that's putting it nicely.

Unbelievably, I'm not a bother to Him with all this help I need. He promises it to me. And He wants to give it to me. I'm such a wreck most of the time that without Him, I'm really better off just standing perfectly still and putting duct tape over my mouth and a blindfold over my eyes. There's a good chance then that I might not cause myself or someone else to stumble. Otherwise, I'm a mess waiting to happen.

I need to give Him every minute of my day, rely on Him for every moment with which I'm confronted. Otherwise I am overwhelmed by greed, jealousy, self-doubt, sin, selfishness, envy, strife, offense, passiveness, aggression, anger, disappointment...I could really keep going on for quite some time, but you get the picture.

I'm a mess without Him. He loves me and that's why He's always willing to be my Helper.


  1. God wants us to be dependent on Him, so why do we teach our children to be independent? i am struggling to depend on Him more.

  2. Oh great post Rene! So much of my life I lived with God in the background, keeping Him at a safe distance in case I needed Him. But also keeping Him far enough away to feel like I was still in control. Celebrate Recovery helped me get out of myself and learn to rely on Him more and my life gets so much easier the more I rely on Him! He is so good to us and we are so lucky to have a patient and loving God

  3. Thank you so much for writing this, Rene. It really speaks to what I'm going through right now. He doesn't mind that we are needy. Everyone else says to suck it up, but Jesus says, "Lean on Me when you have no strength to stand. When you feel you're going under, hold tighter to My hand. Lean on Me when your heart begins to bleed. When you come to the place that I'm all you have, then you'll find I'm all you need."