Surviving the Audition
by Jami Harris
Let’s face it – no matter how long you’ve been doing this,
auditions can be nerve-wracking. If
anyone tells you they love the actual audition experience, chances are they’re
lying, they’ve never experienced failure, or they have sadomasochistic
tendencies. That, or they’ve been
auditioning for Mr. Rogers (or the producers of Skid, who are really awesome
and know how to make an audition fun).
That said, something I’ve learned over the years is to stop
letting my fear of auditioning control my life and dictate my success (or lack
thereof) in this industry. I’m a
perfectionist. I was the kid who cried
if I got a 98 on the test instead of a 100.
I expect a lot of myself, and when I feel like I’ve failed, I’m my worst
critic. So the biggest step for me was
learning to see auditions I didn’t book not as failures, but as opportunities.
There are a million reasons you didn’t book the role. Maybe you were too tall or too short, or you had
the wrong hair eye color, or you were too thin or too tall, or they wanted
someone younger, or they wanted someone older, or they wanted someone with blue
hair. Maybe you were exactly what they
thought they were looking for until that other actor came into the room and
gave them an unexpected interpretation of the character that they fell in love
with. I’d bet most of the auditions you
didn’t book had nothing to do with your acting ability and everything to do
with a factor beyond your control or
knowledge. But for my first few years
acting, I assumed every role I didn’t book was because I wasn’t good enough or
blew my audition.
There have been several times I’ve auditioned for a role,
not booked it, and beat myself up for not doing a better job until months or
even a year or two later, the director of that project asked me to play a role
in another project based on that supposedly “failed” audition. I learned at that time the director had loved
my audition but I hadn’t been the right fit for that particular role. Then it finally hit me – I had been beating
myself up for months for something that wasn’t a failure and had actually led
to another opportunity.
There have also been some auditions where I genuinely messed
up, and I’ve learned to be okay with that too.
Obviously I always strive to be prepared and give the best audition
possible, but there are occasions where you walk out of that audition room
thinking, “How on earth did I mess up that line?” or “Did I really do that with a Scarlet
O’Hara accent?” (Okay, that happens a
lot more often when you’re me and hail from South Carolina. Sometimes the accent just comes out.) I’ve discovered that one of the secrets to
not making the same mistakes at my next audition is to give myself permission
to mess up. Once I’ve given myself
permission to not be perfect, I de-stress and actually do a better job at my
audition because I can focus on the scene instead of on some ridiculous
standard of perfection I’ve set for myself.
I used to be extremely nervous before an audition. Okay, nervous is an understatement. I was thrilled to find out it was okay to
memorize my lines and not carry the sides (audition script) into the audition
room with me because I used to be so terrified the sides would be shaking in my
hands as I read. I still get nervous
before auditions, especially if it’s a project I’m really passionate
about. But now I use that nervous energy
to motivate me to do my best at preparing for my audition, and when I get into
the audition room, I let it all go, do my best, and make a decision to be
content with either outcome. And I’ve
changed the way I pray before an audition.
Instead of begging God to give me the role I want, instead I pray that
He’ll help me do my best and that I’ll book whatever role I’m supposed to
have. There’s something beautiful about
being able to surrender a desire for a role and trust that life will go on
regardless of the results of an audition.
There are roles I’ve booked that I thought I had no chance
at booking. There are times I’ve
auditioned against much more seasoned actresses and been shocked to find out I
was cast as the lead. And there have
been roles I thought I had in a box and auditions I thought I nailed where I
wasn’t cast at all. Instead of trying to
figure out why, I’ve learned to just go with it, be grateful for the roles I do
book, and see the ones I didn’t book not as failures but as opportunities.
So at your next audition, I hope you’ll be able to embrace
the opportunity and have fun. And if
that doesn’t work, just go with the old standby and imagine the director in
their underwear.
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