It's my birthday month! Not just any birthday, but my 40th. So to commemorate the occasion, I thought it would be fun to ponder age. Why not, right? It's fascinating if it's not happening to you, but I say, why not just face the beast down? I'm aging. So what? There are a few people out there taking drastic measures not to age and we all wish they wouldn't--they scare small children. For the rest of us, it's just part of life. So here's my list of 39 ways I know I'm turning 40. Here's a glimpse into my reality:
1) I’m forced to wear cushy slippers because hard
floors hurt my bare feet
2) There
is more fashion that doesn’t work on me than does
3) The
foods I hate agree with me the most
4) I
have trouble opening anything with a tab, a lid, or a cap
5) If
sticky notes were banned, I’d have to quit life
6) When
I wake up in the morning, my body feels like I’ve attempted the Ironman
7) I
have to change my wave because my underarm now swings like it wants in on the
action
8) I
have to get kids to show me how to work stuff
9) I’m
completely unconsumed with the stigma of minivans
10) My
favorite feature on my Kindle is the font enlargement
11) I’ve
got a doctor for nearly every organ in my body
12) I’m
suddenly fond of spicy foods, which I suspect means my taste buds are dying off
13) I’m
willing to trade white teeth for coffee
14) I’m
getting political cartoons
15) I
have a breaking news alert on my phone for some excitement in my day
16) I
can throw my back out simply by rising from a chair
17) I
am hooked on PBS soap operas set at the turn of the century
18) I
am starting to identify with all of Meryl Streep’s characters
19) I
wear cardigans because I have to
20) I’m
using shampoo with medicine as its first ingredient
21) I
get irritated by noise louder than a whisper
22) One
trip to Long John Silvers could literally kill me
23) Almost
every product I use has the word “brightening” in it
24) I’m
beginning to understand people in their 20s believe they have nothing in common
with me
25) I’m
particular about my coffee mugs
26) I’ve
outgrown self-consciousness
27) I’ve
actually said out loud, “I need to get home before dark.”
28) I
have a pill organizer
29) I
can no longer feel food on my face
30) I’ve
come to the grim realization that tweezers aren’t just for the eyebrows anymore
31) I’ve
learned that the world won’t fall apart if I actually take a lunch break
32) I’m
beginning to get the urge to eat dinner earlier
33) I
no longer recognize the people on the cover of PEOPLE magazine
34) Lipstick
is challenging without magnification
35) I
constantly ask myself how early is too early to put my pajamas on
36) Taylor
Swift songs all sound the same to me
37) I’m
not against boy bands. I just can’t
remember all the members’ names
38) I’m
older than half my doctors
39) I’m
trading in sit-coms about friends for Rock Center with Brian Williams
I can relate to many of these but that's probably because I turned 40 quite a few years ago. Just wait till you turn 50! It's kind of bewildering that we start having aging/health problems when we still feel so young.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Rene!
I'm finding some of these things are true at 30!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!
Enjoy your birthday month!
Wow, I can relate to some of these big time, just about to hit 35. Have a great day and month!
ReplyDeleteBecause "being inundated with AARP membership requests" didn't make your list, I can only assume you are in the throws of youth - enjoy it while you can, young lady!
ReplyDeleteNOW CASTING “THE BIG 4-0”
ReplyDeleteA major production company is currently casting men and women who are attractive, affluent and on the brink of turning 40.
They say age is just a number, but the big 4-0 is the exception to this rule. Caught between youthful dreams and grown up realities, transitioning into your 40's can feel like the end of life as you know it…Or is it just the beginning? Only one thing is for sure…40 is a moment of truth. Are you ready?
Are you highly successful but still freaked about turning 40? Did the 10 year plan work out like you imagined? How will you conquer the next decade as you leave your 20’s and 30’s behind?
If you are in your later 30's and gearing up this midlife turning point that is the big 4-0, we want to hear from you.
Email the following information to: castingcookie@gmail.com
Please include the following information -
- Name
- Occupation
- Hometown
- A little about your current situation
- Photo